Like a lone wolf in the night he stalks...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I just want to be happy...

My wife asked me the other day what I meant when I blurted out said phrase. I realized that I needed very little to complete my happiness and was able to verbalize in a fairly precise manner what would make me happy. As I watch and talk to other down trodden souls also braving this rotten, economic survival experiment I started to wonder if many of them had really thought about what truly makes them happy. Wading through darkness will force you to really think and specify these types of things. That's what I've found in what has been the hardest transitional segment of my life.

As I watched my Father lying in the hospital for the final time and thought about all the conversations we crammed in before that dreadful time decided to rear it's monster-like head, a theme became prevalent:  relationships. It became quite obvious that our relations with family, friends, colleagues and yes even enemies become the root cause of our existence. He no longer cared about money, sports, politics or other trivial subjects we tend to put before the people we truly care about. All he wanted was to be sure that he was not alone, that he could savor as much time with us that he could and that those he would leave behind would eventually be ok.

It made me think. Long and hard. And when I was done thinking I realized a couple of things:

One - it really doesn't matter what one does for a living because very few of us get to really do what we want. For those of us that do, it's an added blessing.

Two - the only things we take with us are our memories & our soul

Three (and most important) - The people we share our lives with should be our main focus- meaning one should make the goal of spending quality time with these people a top priority. Everything else is fleeting.

I've tried to live my life more in tune with these important insights and I've found, when I think in these terms, there's very little that can bring me down. I'm not saying this is an easy task (Far from it) but I've found it's a lot easier than I thought it would be. In this country, especially now, it seems like economic security equates some level of  happiness and I'm here to tell you that it's true on a small scale. Being broke or unemployed is no picnic and can create a mass of problems. I can honestly say I'm happier since I became employed after being out of work for collectively 8 months. But in the end I'm happier about the fact that I get to spend more time thinking about and spending time with my wife, my daughter, my family and my friends because I'm not obsessing about finding a job.

I'm 37 and realistically I have another 30 years of grinding in the workplace before I can even think of stopping. So should I spend more time complaining about my awful job/boss/commute for the next 30 years or should I spend that time enjoying quality time with the people I wish to?

Not so hard to think about it in those terms is it?

So the next time you find yourself frustrated with the powers that be just remember that simple little phrase means something.

"I just want to be happy."

It's a common phrase that we hear many times but how many of us really clearly understand what it really means to us?

Think about it.

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